Diet Going Good, Blogging Not So Much.

Tomorrow will be two weeks since I started my new fat-free vegetable-based diet.  I have not been good at keeping up with the blog, but the diet is going well.   I have not been 100% perfect, but my infractions have been few and far berween.

My absolute worst night was when the family got Little Caesar's I had a melt down and ate a piece of incredibly oily cheesy bread.   I also had a couple of other times where I fudged my own rules on a smaller scale, but I'm taking the good with the bad, and I consider it to be a good sign that each of these infractions stand out to me as one-offs.  In the past I would have eaten my own box of cheesy bread.  Instead, I had one piece and then felt really gross afterwards.  It's all progress.

I do regret not weighing myself before starting this diet.  Although I want it to be about my health and not a number on a scale, I can tell that I've lost a little and I admit it would be nice to know how much.   If I had to guess, I'd say about five pounds, but I just don't know. There's not much visible change, but I wouldn't expect there to be this early in the game.  I do FEEL a lot better already, so that's something.

Last Update:  tomorrow night I'm going to try Bikram Yoga for the first time.  Yes, that's the one in the hot room.   I will write a lot more about my reasons for this particular choice tomorrow.  In the mean time, I'll just say that the heat and sweat does not scare me at all.  Well, OK, I fear the smell a bit.  But I think I will love the heat.  I love saunas and steam rooms and hot tubs.  I am always cold.   If I lived alone I would rarely use air conditioning.   It's the yoga itself that scares me.  I fully expect to be unable to do most of it.  But that's OK.  Right now my goal is just to stay in the room.  I will sit in the back and do my best and maybe the rest will come in time.  And if I'm the only fat person there, so be it.  I refuse to be embarassed.  

A journey of a thousand miles, yadda yadda.

 

More to come tomorrow.

Oops. Mistakes Happen.

That thing where you genuinely think you're being good on your diet and choosing healthy things at the Indian Buffet and then find out that the reason your desert is delicious is because it's full of ghee. Sigh. Just keep swimming.

On Avocados and Nuts and Oils

The cardiologists who were part of Forks Over Knives stress a lot that your arteries don't give a damn whether the fat you consume comes from plants or animals, and there is no such thing as "good fat" or "healthy oil", and that those who say otherwise are selling you a bill of goods.   No added processed oils is a big part of this diet .    They acknowledge that yes, you need some level of fat/oil for survival, but an overweight person is not in danger of being short on these for quite some time, and that when you get that point, there is more than enough in nuts and avocados to meet the amount your body's needs.  (Reminder:  they're only talking about the whole foods with fiber and nutrients intact -- a handful of raw nuts or an actual avocado -- not nut oils or avocado oil.)

That said, what about nuts and avocados when you're trying to lose weight?

The official line is that they should be omitted if weight loss is your goal and then added back in with moderation once you get there.  They are plants and thus OK as part of the life-time plan, but they should generally be eaten sparingly.

What I think:  I think that scientifically, they are correct.   And absolutely, I will lose more rapidly if you omit nuts and avocados entirely.    However, I also think that when you can sabotage yourself by going for too much perfection.   Yes, if I have no common sense and convince myself that avocados are OK so I'm going to eat 20 of them a day (ew), then I'm not going to be a whole lot better off than when I was eating cheeseburgers.  However, if having avocado toast for breakfast now and then stops me from putting butter on the toast -- or from getting a sausage Mcmuffin, then I think I'm still headed in the right direction.

In general, a nice thing about this diet is that if you follow the rules, you don't really have to do math and count calories, because you can have just about as much as you want of anything (except, well, the avocados and nuts).   However, for those who like to know the math:

I used a cup of raw cashews in my vegan Alfredo sauce, which is approx 12 grams of fat and 157 calories.    The finished product after blending in water, lemon juice, garlic, onion, and spices -- was far more like a pint of sauce -- but all other ingredients were practically fat/calorie free, so I could eat the whole pint and still max out at 12f/157c.   And it's probably the only actual fat I ate in the whole day (except for the day when I ate the peanut butter).   Whereas one cup-only of regular Alfredo sauce containing butter and cheese is about 28 grams of fat and 320 calories.

Booya.

Diet Day 3 (Blog Day 1)

So, this isn't a political blog, but I have to start with the fact that I feel guilty writing a perky little blog about something as inconsequential as the size of my jeans right now.  I know that the world is a mess.  I had to physically pull over the car to weep about DACA the other day, and I have friends in the path of the second record-breaking hurricane in weeks.   What the hell am I doing?

And  yet.. the sun still shines and it's a beautiful fall day where I am.  I have a lovely 8-year old who is full of joy.  The world still spins, and... I'm still fat.   I will still fight injustice where I can, but today, I'm here on my weight-loss blog.   I originally created this page four years ago and then promptly abandoned it and gained even more weight.  It's time to try again.   Here goes.

I'm writing this on my third day of low-fat/high-fiber/no meat or dairy and (almost*) no oil.

Benefits So Far:

1.  It's only day 3 and my acid re-flux is completely gone and I don't need to prop up on pillows.   No meds at all.  This is amazing to me.    If this doesn't tell you that fat is what's poisoning me, I don't know what does.

2.  I'm sleeping better and waking up better.   

3.  I have more energy.  It's not run-a-marathon energy.  But not being overwhelmingly tired all the time is a big deal for me right now.

4.  I don't miss meat.  At all.   (I do miss butter and cheese.)

Challenges:

1.   As usual, I've picked terrible timing.  At least three of my friends are doing something called Keytones and are joyfully posting about eating meat and feeling great.  I wish I were dieting with them because I'd love to have friends to do this with, but down deep I just really don't feel their diet it's the right diet for me.  Such is life.  Everyone need to do what works for them, and I am truly happy for them that they've found something that makes them feel good.  I just need to push on through to what I know works for me.   (Also, I can have all the bloody carbs I want!  Bwahahahaha!)

2.   My wonderful family is supportive, but will definitely NOT be participating in this diet with me.  This means I cannot purge the cupboards of forbidden things and must take extra care to avoid temptations.   Having lots of things around the house that I CAN eat without a lot of preparation is key.   And I don't mean carrot sticks.  They're all well and good but won't do the trick when the beast is at the wheel.

It also means planning two separate meals every night, one of which I can't eat.   Sometimes this works well, and sometimes it doesn't.  Two nights ago we had Fettuccine Alfredo.  The family ate the normal version, and I made my own version on the side using whole wheat pasta and a vegan Alfredo sauce made with ground up cashews, lemon juice and lots of spices.  It was actually quite passable and tasty -- but if I didn't soak the cashews the night before and plan for it, it wouldn't work.   I need to be a better planner.    On another night this week, they want to have breakfast for dinner with lots of bacon.  There are decent enough fake-bacons out there, but none without oil.  I may need to go out with the girls that night and request that they don't leave any leftovers. 

I know that the temptation part will get easier after about a week.  The thought of eating oily stuff will actually make me nauseous.   But I'm not there yet.  I'm still in withdrawal...

3.  Withrdrawal.   Fit people always give you the side-eye when you talk about this, but my fellow fatties know what I'm talking about.

Here's the thing.  I'm never actually hungry on this diet.  I'm eating so much healthy fiber that I can actually feel my stomach stretching.  The BMs are ridiculous.   And yet I still have an almost overwhelming urge to shove food into my mouth.   Which then makes me suddenly awake to the fact that what I perceive as hunger isn't actually hunger at all.   It's a bloody dopamine craving.   When I eat fat, my brain releases a huge hit of dopamine just like a hit of crack -- and now it's not getting it.  OK, maybe not crack.  But it's chemical a wave of peace that you're not aware that you even receive from food until it's suddenly not there anymore.  It's that simple.   

When I quit smoking 16 years ago, I would walk around compulsively picking up sofa cushions for no reason before realizing that I was unconsciously looking for a cigarette.   Now I'm compulsively opening the fridge, unconsciously looking for cheese.   But I know that in a few days my brain will catch on and it will be much easier.   Just gotta push through.

4.  Body adjustments.   Body is adjusting to lots more fiber in all the um, usual ways.   Not much worth publishing about that, but it happens.   Buy Beano and remember it will get better.

5.  About the "almost" no oil thing:  Yeah, I have already been less than perfect.  I had a tablespoon of peanut butter with my apple yesterday, which contained added oil.  And I had a handful of vegan granola that also used vegetable oil in the prep.   To quote Lindsay at the Happy Herbivore, I'm seeking progress, not perfection.   I consider these to be small infractions, and I believe that sometimes a tablespoon of peanut butter can be the thing that keeps you from melting down and getting a cheeseburger value meal.  But I also need to be careful about disregarding the rules too flippantly, because it adds up quickly.

Anyway, that's all I've got for now.  I think I'm off to a reasonably good start.

Tonight we're going to a school picnic.  The family will continue its tradition of picking up a bucket of fried chicken, and I will swing by the store and pick up a tray of veggie sushi.  Rock on.