My absolute worst night was when the family got Little Caesar's I had a melt down and ate a piece of incredibly oily cheesy bread. I also had a couple of other times where I fudged my own rules on a smaller scale, but I'm taking the good with the bad, and I consider it to be a good sign that each of these infractions stand out to me as one-offs. In the past I would have eaten my own box of cheesy bread. Instead, I had one piece and then felt really gross afterwards. It's all progress.
I do regret not weighing myself before starting this diet. Although I want it to be about my health and not a number on a scale, I can tell that I've lost a little and I admit it would be nice to know how much. If I had to guess, I'd say about five pounds, but I just don't know. There's not much visible change, but I wouldn't expect there to be this early in the game. I do FEEL a lot better already, so that's something.
Last Update: tomorrow night I'm going to try Bikram Yoga for the first time. Yes, that's the one in the hot room. I will write a lot more about my reasons for this particular choice tomorrow. In the mean time, I'll just say that the heat and sweat does not scare me at all. Well, OK, I fear the smell a bit. But I think I will love the heat. I love saunas and steam rooms and hot tubs. I am always cold. If I lived alone I would rarely use air conditioning. It's the yoga itself that scares me. I fully expect to be unable to do most of it. But that's OK. Right now my goal is just to stay in the room. I will sit in the back and do my best and maybe the rest will come in time. And if I'm the only fat person there, so be it. I refuse to be embarassed.
A journey of a thousand miles, yadda yadda.
More to come tomorrow.
As with anything else, start small. I started Pilates and I swear I was so awkward and clumsy, I felt like quitting. But I did get better eventually. Yoga will make you feel good, too. Congratulations on your progress so far! Don't forget that what you're doing is a "really big deal".
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